SANews Application (Benji_Clix)

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Benji
Posts: 3.0
Joined: April 30th, 2009, 4:10 am

SANews Application (Benji_Clix)

Post by Benji »

IC:
Character name: Benji Clix
Date of birth: 1976
Phone number: 424442
Address/general location (optional): Vinewood, North


OOC:
Names of any alts you have/had on SZR: None
Previous roleplay experience, including other servers (optional): I have been roleplaying for 3 years, On Redgies Roleplay, Valhalla, Pre-Wipe SZR (I forgot my old name though)
Will your news character be your primary character? (optional): Yes

IC:
A brief description of what brought you here. (Was it a recommendation? A wanted ad? Simple whimsy? Something else?): I travelled to Los Santos for a holiday, After carefully thinking it, Checking my finances and buying a new house. I decided to stay here. With my previous experience In New York's Channel 9, I also figured out that I would become a news reporter. So I called my friend in New York, Trevor Robinson for a recommendation, He gave me a number of a Local SANews reporter.

I called the number, A man named Ian Pamplemousse answered the phone. We both talked about my previous experience and about Channel 9 News.
He told me to make an Application for SANews, He told me the name of a website that I can apply on.
And here I am now.

I hope SANews can write the rest of my story...
(( Therotically speaking, I don't want you to actually write it, Lol ))

A brief description of why you feel you'd be an asset to our team (feel free to include relevant skills and/or achievements): SANews to me, Needs more people who arn't afraid to get a story, To do the hard yards and whatever It takes to inform the General Public of Los Santos about whats happening in there City.
I also have a unique way of telling a story, I make it exciting, Make the person whos listening think that im right next to them having a conversation.

An example of your writing in the two formats ((Article format, no less than 50 words, and in-game /news format, no less than 7 lines. See below for examples. Update: Wackiness (being outrageous) won't get you hired, and please try not to report on the common subjects - Nurgle, UFOs, combat situations, action stories, etc. Made up interviews will NOT be accepted.)):

Killing The City
by Benji Clix
Friday, May 8, 2009

Have You ever wondered How many Gangs are in Los Santos?
Almost fifteen!, Not to mention the smaller ones that are growing by the second
We at SANews have been investigating these gangs, And we have some figures to show you.
At least 50 percent of the residents in Los Santos are a part of a Criminal Organisation.

Could you help the Police catch one of these Criminals, Have you seen something suspicious in Los Santos?
Image

Help LSPD catch these criminals one by one, Help them bring down this Rain of Terror thats Killing OUR City Slowly.


/news Hello Los Santos
/news This Is Benji Clix reporting for SANews
/news Please be advised, This news report contains things that could be offensive for some listeners.

/news Los Santos, A lovely City, With many secrets.
/news Tonight I will be reporting about whats wrong with Los Santos And how we can fix it, Together.
/news There are not many things wrong with Los Santos, A beautiful City.
/news But, There are people tearing down Los Santos as we speak.
/news The so called "Company's" And "Social Groups" of Los Santos.
/news We all know who these people are, Even the local Police know who they are.
/news They start a new war every day, They make this City full of Crime and Violence.
/news but why?, For Money, Drugs and Power?, Or just so they can Run this City?
/news At least 50 percent of the Population is part of a Gang and or Violent group.
/news These people are the trash of the city, They are knocking down the supports of Los Santos
/news How can we stop this I hear you ask?
/news Theres one way that stands out from the rest.
/news We need to work with the police to break down these Criminal Organisations.
/news We could Eliminate these people, Put them in jail, One by one. With the help of the LSPD.
/news How can you help?
/news First of all, If you see something happening that is the slightest bit suspicious.
/news Call 911. Tell the police whats happening and they will be there as soon as possible.
/news If you find any objects that are not legal, Such as Some certain Weapons, Drugs.
/news Report it to LSPD.

/news More coming soon...
/news This In Benji Clix, Reporting for SANews.
/news Stay Classy Los Santos!

Any additional comments (optional):
Thank you for reading My application, Any comments or critism is accepted.
Last edited by Benji on May 9th, 2009, 3:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Slopko
kinda dump
Posts: 848.0
Joined: March 5th, 2009, 8:36 pm
Game Name(s): Slopii_Pimpins

Re: SANews Application (Benji_Clix)

Post by Slopko »

Is your news report a news report, or an LSPD application?
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Benji
Posts: 3.0
Joined: April 30th, 2009, 4:10 am

Re: SANews Application (Benji_Clix)

Post by Benji »

Slopko wrote:Is your news report a news report, or an LSPD application?
News in real life often help the Police, I am just roleplaying. I admit this story is highlighting LSPD, But its a valid News report. Plus i would never join LSPD lol.
Banjo
Posts: 730.0
Joined: November 26th, 2008, 3:00 am
Location: Hiding in a kangaroo's pouch

Re: SANews Application (Benji_Clix)

Post by Banjo »

First of all:
Plus i would never join LSPD lol.
---
Then your story is not bad, it has a few errors [outlined below].
Your /news -article does not seem to be appropriate as an in-game formate, but we can work on that once I invite you into the faction! Congratulations, accepted!
Read the Rules & Guidelines in our Private Forum, which you now have access to!

Things you need to work on:
You Don't capitalize Random Words, No matter what You Feel Like.
1. Capitalization: In English you ONLY capitalize at the beginning of a sentence [Note: NOT after a comma], a name or a ':'
2. Apostrophes: You're = you are; your = possessive pronoun. One contract, two contracs [Note: no apostrophe]; Benji's house [!!! That's when you put an apostrophe]

Only major things I can find in your app! [Don't take it personal, this goes for all the monkeys out there!]
Kitty_Mason wrote:
Rho wrote:im hung like a chinese mouse and will never get to see boobs like those let alone play with them
Tommy_Gavin
Abuses Ads for Free
Posts: 209.0
Joined: December 1st, 2008, 11:54 am

Re: SANews Application (Benji_Clix)

Post by Tommy_Gavin »

Banjo wrote: Things you need to work on:
You Don't capitalize Random Words, No matter what You Feel Like.
1. Capitalization: In English you ONLY capitalize at the beginning of a sentence [Note: NOT after a comma], a name or a ':'
Also capitalize proper names, such as a person's name, city's name, business name etc.
2. Apostrophes: You're = you are; your = possessive pronoun. One contract, two contracs [Note: no apostrophe]; Benji's house [!!! That's when you put an apostrophe]
3. Spelling, while not horrible, there are a few. There are some that spell check does not catch, like where you mentioned "rain" of terror, it should have been "reign". You will not have the benefit of spellcheck ingame. So be conscientious of your spelling.
But good job and welcome aboard.
[quote][16:52] <Racha3l> [23:46:45] [command] [Billy_Kid]: /t 21 just get on the point i got u nigga
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